My College Testimony
I shouldn’t have been able to go to the college that I did.
It was WAY too expensive. Westmont College was the dream of a sixteen-year-old kid who didn’t have a full grasp on reality, yet.
Some say ignorance is bliss, but others (like anyone with their head screwed on straight) could see that my ignorance was dangerous. But even so, I was ready to go…
I’m going to tell you a story that I dreamed of telling for four years. It was actually this moment right here that got me through those fours years: imagining my future self, married, with a college degree in a frame on a desk in her office. But not just any college degree: a degree from Westmont College.
The decision to go
I wanted to go to a private, faith-based liberal arts college for a few reasons: the smaller class sizes, the opportunity to meet all your classmates, the chance to have close relationships with professors, and the ability to express my faith without judgement. I wanted freedom and intimacy out of the experience because I viewed college as exactly that: an experience.
I applied to five schools my senior year: The University of Nevada Reno, Regent University in Virginia, Corban University in Oregon, Pacific University in Washington, and Westmont College in California. I was accepted into all five, but I had my heart set on Westmont.
Westmont wasn’t even on the list of schools I was initially considering until my friend brought it up. We had a mutual friend attending there and after visiting the website and the campus, I was hooked.
But there was one tiny itsy bitsy problem: I had very little money for college.
My parents weren’t financially able to provide as much as I needed to go there. There was no trust fund or college savings account with hundreds of thousands of dollars in it. All I had was faith that it would work out and some sporadic funds here and there.
But I felt a little nudge in my spirit. A little nudge that said “go.” So I did. With all my ignorance intact, I committed to go to Westmont College for the Fall of 2013.
Year One
2013-2014
My Freshman year cost $52,000 but my hopeless optimism didn’t look at that number. I saw a Dean Scholarship worth $10,000, a Westmont grant worth $13,000, and small loans here and there. All I saw was what I GOT, not what I owed. Ultimately, I needed $20,000 for the year ($10,000 each semester).
Semester one was pretty easily covered (that’s what got me in the door). Gifts from grandparents, a massive portion of my personal savings, a random scholarship from Best Buy…. problem is, the gifts I got were intended for the entire year. I used up my year’s funds on the first semester. Things were looking pretty bleak pretty quickly.
I sat in my dorm room in tears. “This is stupid,” I thought. “WHY on earth would I feel drawn to a school I could only attend for ONE semester?” The thought of returning home, tail in-between my legs, was so horrible it wasn’t even an option. I had to get the money from somewhere.
A boyfriend at the time gave me an idea. It was an idea I absolutely hated, but I decided to try: I created a GoFundMe account for my second semester. It was a huge ego hit, an embarrassing cry for help. But that cry worked. The GoFundMe account reached $6,000 and I was able to pay the rest of the amount with my remaining personal savings.
So just like that, I did it. I finished a year of college at Westmont. But like always, my thoughts couldn’t settle on the joy of the present for long. They were quickly directed at the future and I wondered how I could afford a second year like this. I prayed and prayed and prayed that my financial aid would somehow be significantly more.
Year Two
2014-2015
I didn’t know how, but my financial aid WAS significantly more. The grant amount I received from Westmont nearly doubled what it was for the year before. I worked long hard days that summer hoping for the best, opened the financial portal mid-July, and determined I could make it for at least another semester. It was $6,000 for each semester now and I managed to save up $5,000 for the fall. All I needed was a better job during school and I could make up the remaining myself without asking any other favors from family.
I applied at a restaurant as soon as I got back to school. I was looking for work anywhere that would take me, but this place was actually one of the most popular restaurants in Santa Barbara and the tips were great.
Thing is, I didn’t start off making tips, I started off as a hostess. Days were long that semester… Westmont was no walk in the park: keeping up my grades meant a LOT of studying. My roommate thought I was crazy — I left the room for class before she woke up and I got back from the restaurant late after she went to sleep. While other kids were dating and going to bonfires on the beach and taking long weekend trips… I was either smelling like seafood or losing my mind typing essay after essay. Being an English and Communication Studies double major meant that 80% of my work was written, I was grateful for the “liberal arts” aspect because other disciplines gave a much needed mental break.
After all that hard work and just a bit more generosity from extended family, I came up with the money for both semesters. Things were finally looking up! I could continue junior and senior year just like this! I was comfortable and I had hope. That is until I was called into the financial aid office during the last month of school.
“So… there was a mistake this last year on your financial aid paperwork.”
“What kind of mistake?”
“We accidentally doubled your grant.”
“Oh.”
“We’re not going to ask you for that money. It was our mistake, that money is yours. But we need you to know it will be adjusted back to normal next year.”
“Is there anything else I can apply for? Any scholarship or grant? I’m barely making it.”
“Well… there is one thing.”
“What is it??”
“We don’t like our students to get into heavy debt, but there is a Perkins Loan we extend to students in desperate need. It’s small, but it’s directly through Westmont and accrues no interest while you’re in school.”
“Can I apply now?”
“Yes, let me print out the paperwork.”
Year Three
2015-2016
The summer between my sophomore and junior years of school were loaded just like the last. This time, I had secured a paid internship at the Nevada Department of Transportation for 40 hours a week. On top of that, I worked at the Lake Tahoe Shakespeare Festival for 20 hours. It was a full schedule to say the least.
If the grant would’ve stayed what it was during my sophomore year, I would’ve had enough to cover the first semester and then some for the second. But with the adjusted amount, I needed a new miracle to stay in school.
My miracle came in the form of a human angel. While deciding our housing situation, my best friend had planned to move back into her home in Carpinteria (a town neighboring Santa Barbara). All of the options off-campus were too expensive for me, and I just didn’t see how I could make it this time. My willpower tank was at an all time low.
“Well, I could ask my mom if you could move in with us?”
That offer from my friend was one that would change my life. Not only did she let me move into their spare bedroom, her mom charged me $0 to stay. ZERO DOLLARS in rent. Words could never do my gratitude justice. I could go back to Westmont. WHAT?!
If I applied to Westmont even one year later, I wouldn’t even have the option to live off campus. They built a new dormitory on campus which significantly limited off-campus housing requests. If I was class of 2018 instead of class of 2017, I would’ve dropped out my junior year.
Between the Perkins Loan, paying zero in rent, and now making tips at the restaurant, I was living comfortably again. The semester cost around $4,000. For a couple weeks I was breathing easy until a new dream sprung up in me: I wanted to study abroad. It almost felt like too much to ask for.
While trying to decide, a guy in my swim class from Truckee (an hour and a half away from my hometown) spoke about studying abroad and how that was THE defining experience of his education. After that, classmate after classmate told me about their experiences abroad and so many students from my 2017 class were posting pictures traveling in Europe that fall. What if I could squeeze it in?
I looked into programs in Australia and Paris. I couldn’t go just “anywhere” if I wanted to graduate on time, I had to go somewhere that would benefit my major(s) in someway. Australia had an English program and Paris could give me Communication Studies credits. I wasn’t exactly “stoked” to go to Paris at the time, but that program provided the better/more efficient classes. I chose Paris.
Little did I know how much Paris would change my life and my perspective. The fall semester of my junior year in school, I started working for a real estate team in Montecito as their marketing assistant… mostly updating the website with content and posting to social media for them. I convinced them to let me continue working remotely from Paris as I studied Social Media Marketing at the American University of Paris. They said yes! That work gave me approximately $300 of spending money every two weeks, just enough to survive there.
It was incredible to think that a year before I was at the brink of dropping out. A few months later… not only did I finish my junior year of school, but I STUDIED ABROAD. I discovered myself as a person in Paris and I had only a small bit of school left.
Year Four
2016-2017
My fourth year was actually just a fourth semester. After submitting all of my study abroad credits and looking at my class plan, I realized how few credits I actually had left. If I took an extra class at the University of Nevada, Reno over the summer, I could graduate by December. WHAT.
I had another exhausting season at home saving up for my last push at Westmont. I worked this time for the city at the Carson City Library and again at the Lake Tahoe Shakespeare Festival: 40 hours + 20 hours = 60 hours of pure exhaustion.
All those summers working like crazy gave me a whole new appreciation for how much you can actually go through as a human. With the right goal in mind, we can do anything. It gave me the work ethic I have today. Whenever I hear someone being “exhausted” after working six days a week instead of five, I just think back to those days of waking up at 6 a.m. and going to bed past midnight every day and I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the tears and the journey.
I didn’t return to the restaurant for my last semester. I had more than enough money, it was only $3,500. A communication studies professor at my college offered to give me a job as a research assistant and I used that money for spending. It was strange having “time” now. I spent the weekend’s having fun (sometimes a little too much fun), making up for all the weekends I never had.
I finished school in December of 2016 and I walked in my a very rainy graduation in May of 2017. At the time, I didn’t fully soak in what I had just done. I graduated a school I should’ve never been able to attend. By the time I walked, I had already paid off a fourth of my student debt and I was hopeful to attack it even more aggressively after moving back home. I didn’t want to settle back in Carson City, but moving back home for a season to save on living expenses was the most practical decision if I was going to get out of debt quickly.
It was a strange, disorienting feeling being done. It was all over. The purpose that ignited my life for 4+ years had finished. I was nostalgic and ready to finish the chapter.
Fast forward to now
September 5, 2019
Looking back now, I have full confidence that Jesus was there orchestrating my journey the entire time. He used the little faith I had to work wonders. I tried to figure out a rough plan of action for each semester and then I decided to GO in faith, using all of my strength and creativity to make it happen. When I had no more options, he opened new doors (ones I would’ve never been able to imagine), like helping a Westmont employee make a mistake on my financial paperwork and sending an angel to let me live in her house for free.
He cleared a path, but I had to be willing to walk down it. Of course, there were times I doubted it all. “Why does it have to be SO hard?” I would think, crying on my way to school from the weight of it all. At those times, it was like I was standing at the very edge of a cliff, wondering how the heck I was going to make it to the other side. But Jesus was never far away, he was just building a bridge around the corner for me to cross.
At this very moment, I’m writing from my townhome almost three years post-grad. I’m flooded with gratitude thinking back at what he did for me in those years. Even someone who doesn’t believe in a god or higher power can see that I was crazy lucky. Personally, I know it wasn’t luck and I know it wasn’t me. I worked SO hard… but my willpower alone wasn’t enough to keep me in school. I can’t say it was karma either because some days I “deserved it” and other days I definitely didn’t. Some days I had faith and rose above my circumstances and trusted the process 100%. Other days I spent sixty or more dollars at a bar telling strangers how self-supportive I was.
When I was sixteen, Jesus called me to Westmont and opened up doors to keep me there. He told me he would carry me through and despite the overwhelming evidence that it was impossible: I believed him and that belief was enough. He kept his promise. I graduated from Westmont College.
